In Competitors No. 3186 you have been invited to produce an acrostic poem praising or dispraising a public determine, by which the phrase/s spelled out by the primary letter of every line immediately contradicts what the poem is saying.
In an period of pretend information, rampant conspiracy theories and ever-spiralling paranoia, acrostics are having a second: resignation letters written to Donald Trump, into which the phrases ‘Resist’ and ‘Impeach’ had been smuggled, subsequently went viral.
I loved Adrian Fry’s double-edged hymn of reward to Adam Curtis (‘Pretentious tripe’). Different messages lurking in what was a superb entry included ‘Mendacity toad’, ‘-Tartan ineptitude’ and ‘Certifiable’; I’ll depart you to guess who they’re geared toward.
Commendations go to David Shields, Richard Spencer and Alan Millard. The winners take £20 every.
Daring champion of folks who don’t have any say,
Our voice when highly effective folks suppose we’re dumb —
Could he be at all times there to start out the day
By kicking so-called specialists up the bum!
A person who is aware of so many and a lot,
So up-to-date with all the newest information;
Tweets presidents but has the widespread contact:
In each sense regarded for his views.
Cool, how he received’t let politicians spout
However cuts them off like several regular bloke:
Unanswered questions then recommend some doubt
Left hanging like a nasty whiff of smoke.
Let Piers present why by realizing you might be proper
You’re blessed with all you should unfold the sunshine.
Putin! The very identify is sort of a bell,
Its hovering tones blessing the skies above,
Signalling to your folks all is effectively,
Sustaining religion, integrity and love.
Of all of the Russian leaders heretofore
Not one might equal your profound esprit.
You’re the coronary heart and soul, the dwelling core
Of Russia, her lodestar of future.
Beneath your rule the longer term gleams as shiny
As dawn on the quietly flowing Don,
Suffused with splendid, life-enhancing mild.
Such is the journey you may have led us on.
Looking forward to peace, although virile because the bear,
On guard for foes, but humorous and delicate,
Loving however stern, you might be past evaluate,
Ethically pure, unerring, undefiled.
Duly salute Sir David Attenborough,
Eco-apologist past evaluate.
Seldom zoologists have been so thorough:
Percipient, assiduous; agency, truthful.
In easy phrases, delivered with good grace,
Sir David cautioned us many years in the past:
‘Every thing has a goal, is aware of its place;
Survival issues, issues should stay and develop.’
Nationwide treasure? Actually, however extra:
An irresistible fanatic,
Thrilled by the mystic deeps and forest flooring,
Unrivalled grasp of the telecast.
Resplendently his aura sits about him:
Earth could be infinitely boring with out him.
Greta, your steadfast and ferocious gaze
Has mobilised the world and dared us all
As we undergo these pressing troubled days,
In some way to do our bit, nonetheless small,
To make a distinction. Such as you we will
Depart college to those that don’t but know the reality;
You’ve got revealed a much more thrilling plan.
Celebrities have listened; so has youth.
How particular you might be, how very certain
In your willpower that you simply’re proper.
Let others depend the associated fee; your approach is pure.
Debate is over. It’s time to struggle.
It’s not as if he’s responsible of a criminal offense;
No sense impeaching him, he’s to not blame.
So issues obtained barely out of hand that point?
Unlucky, 5 useless, however all the identical,
Keep in mind, these have been patriots at coronary heart,
Refusing to simply accept a vote so flawed,
Wanting to do their patriotic half
Combatting evil, overturning fraud.
Trump says: ‘I made an ideal speech — “Go struggle!”
I informed them. “Struggle like hell! I received big-time!
After all I needs to be President by proper!”’
Now inform me, how can that be known as a criminal offense?
Gutted, boned, an’ served wi’ almonds,
Roasted’s how ye like yer Salmond,
Isnae true ma bonny Nicola?
Lassie, ye’r a Salmond-tickler,
Touchdown him, whin cross-examined,
Even mair het up than earlier,
Dripping, flapping, one thing grievous,
Smoke whit’s left as previous his sell-be,
Then serve chilly, as effectively he mibbe;
Undercut th’ union-cleavers,
Route th’ who-said-what-and-when breed,
Geeza haun, til we secede!
Evoke oor Mary and oor Charlie,
Oor guid Caledonian Kali:
Noo carry oan, an’ preserve yer heid….
The Chief of the Opposition
Has wit, a quiff and erudition;
Contained in the Home, this politician
Sounds solemn like a real patrician;
Sure of information, his proud ambition
Has helped to form his one nice mission:
Ultimately to banish to perdition —
Proclaiming loud its demolition —
Intransigent Tory custom.
Expert within the artwork of proposition,
As QCs are by definition,
Calmly he’ll convey to full fruition
His plan to quell the competitors
Till its remaining abolition
Means, as befits a talented tactician,
Folks will bow in awed submission.
No. 3189: Heaven scent
You might be invited to submit a poem a few favorite odor. Please e mail entries of as much as 16 strains to firstname.lastname@example.org by noon on 3 March.